Being childless is like having a great big open sore in your heart that never heals, compared to miscarrying or losing a child to death, where the healing process can begin immediately*. When you are childless your wound is open for the entire period you are (expected to be) fertile, up to about 25 years. It is only after that that the healing process can begin, that is, if you have any energy left for that. Not even when those 20 odd years have passed is it socially acceptable to mourn.
Mourn never experiencing motherhood. Mourn never being the most important person in someone else's life. Mourn never seeing yourself and your beloved in another person. Mourn all of the children that never will be a part of our family. Mourn every menstruation because it will never lead to a child. Mourn that your grief isn't accepted, so you can't show the grief you're carrying inside.
To always have to keep hoping. If you don't, maybe you mess it all up because you didn't want it bad enough.
*Of course this type of loss is to be taken extremely seriously and may never heal but society allows and expects you to grieve, which is not the case with infertility, which in many psychiatric textbooks is compared to losing a loved one to death.
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